"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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