It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
