i would punch a child for taco bell
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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