You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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