Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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