Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize