It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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