my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
