idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You've changed since you got that strap on
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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