This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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