Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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