i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
