In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dick very happy bro
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
