she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
