I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
