Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
