where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Mom said you looked used
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
