I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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