So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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