I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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