i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
