I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I want to walk on stilts...naked
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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