Small penises have feelings too.
worst night to have a conscience
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Let's paint friendship bongs
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
