Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
