nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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