then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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