Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
