The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize