I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
