she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
