God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
