Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I need a beard to bite.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
