Ambien. No doubt about it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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