White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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