I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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