I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
