All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
