I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
