there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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