Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize