just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
