i think i have herpe
just one?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
