He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
