I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
