Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My bed smells like the plague
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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