is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
His nipple licking is glorious
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