I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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