You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
