Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
