where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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