I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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