WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You were trust falling into bushes
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