He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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