Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
