doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Everyone says I win the strip club
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
