wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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