I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
so much tequila, so little girl.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
