I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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