apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
