I just made out with a guy for $7.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
