What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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