Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
