using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
