so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
