Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Boobs speak an international language.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
