i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
