i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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