well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You left your phone here
Wait...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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