i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
