Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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