it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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