The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
