Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
