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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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